It's Good To Be Here. At 98,

I Would Go Out With Women My Age, But There Are No Women My Age.

With The Collapse Of Vaudeville New Talent Has No Place To Stink.

Love Is A Lot Like A Backache. It Doesn't Show Up On X-rays, But You Know It's There.

I Smoke Cigars Because At My Age If I Don't Have Something To Hang On To I Might Fall Down.

I Was Always Taught To Respect My Elders And I've Now Reached The Age When I Don't Have Anybody To Respect.