It's Very Rare That You Get A

No Man Wants To Settle Down. It Happens. Eventually You're Going To Bump Into Somebody That Makes You Go, 'hmm, I Don't Mind Seeing This Person Every Day.'

My Success Comes In Making Fun Of Whatever You're Doing. That's My Way.

My Kids Are The Funniest Two Human Beings There Are.

I Performed In A Bowling Alley Before While People Were Still Bowling. Cut The Check, And I Will Perform Anywhere.

The Worst Thing About Being Lied To, Is Realizing They Don't Think You're Worth The Truth.