Jesus Loves You... He's Not 'in Love'

Boxers Don't Have Sex Before A Fight. Do You Know Why That Is? They Don't Fancy Each Other.

I Said To My Girlfriend, You Shouldn't Eat Before You Swim. She Said, "why Not"? I Said, You Look Fat.

All Comedians Are A Bit Attention-seeking And I'm No Different. Anyone With The Audacity To Want To Be Listened To For An Hour And A Half Must Be.

Swimming Is Good For You, Especially If You're Drowning. Not Only Do You Get A Cardiovascular Workout But Also You Don't Die.

My Mum Told Me The Best Time To Ask My Dad For Anything Was During Sex. Not The Best Advice I'd Ever Been Given. I Burst In Through The Bedroom Door Saying "can I Have A New Bike?". He Was Very Upset. His Secretary Was Surprisingly Nice About It. I Got The Bike.