Jesus Loves You... He's Not 'in Love'

Boxers Don't Have Sex Before A Fight. Do You Know Why That Is? They Don't Fancy Each Other.

After A Gig I Always Head Back To The Hotel, Remembering Granny's Words Of Wisdom. I Cancel The Late-night Pizza And Watch The Jonathan Ross Show Instead.

Put Smarties Tubes On Cats Legs, Make Them Walk Like A Robot.

Eighteen Years Since The Chernobyl Disaster. Is It Just Me Surprized? Still No Superheroes!

I Love Those People Who Do Story-telling And Who Ramble On, But I Don't Do That, I Tell Jokes - The Sort Of Jokes That Anyone Really Could Tell In The Pub.