Junior Colleges Are High Schools With Ashtrays.

It Should Be Like A Salmon Taking To Open Water. I've Done So Much Morning Radio That I Won't Be Overwhelmed By It, But It's Still Going To Be A Challenge.

If Women Built The Bridges Or Were Meant To Build The Bridges, Then They Would Have Done It.

I'm Harmless. I Don't Have Any Ill Will Or Ill Thought Towards Anybody. When People Know You're That Way, You Can Say Stuff That The Creepy Guy At Your Office Could Never Get Away With.

As I Said In My Last Book, Birds Are Mean. They're The Only Pet That, When They Escape, The Owners Are Relieved. You Can Tell A Species Is Evil By Doing This Simple Math. If My Blond Lab Molly Was The Size Of T-rex, That Would Just Mean More Kibble, More Work For The Gardener In The Backyard, And A Harder Time Moving Her To My Wife's Side Of The Bed At Night. If Birds Were The Size Of A T-rex, The Streets Would Be Littered With Human Remains.

I'm Really Just Trying To Hash Out The Next Two Weeks Of My Life. So, Something That Is Potentially Four Months Down The Road Is Not Just A Mile Down The Road For Me, It's A Million Miles Down The Road.