Laughter Is An Instant Vacation.

For Christmas The Just Came Out With A Battery-operated Battery. But The Batteries Aren't Included.

I Don't Mind Personal Insults, But When You Insult The Jokes That I Tell You're Insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns And Allen, Trevor Mcgee And Molly Picon.

My Sister-in-law Found A Real Surprise In Her Stockings - My Brother.

I Take New Years With A Grain Of Salt And Three Aspirins.

My Wife Sent Me A Valentine Card That Said, "take My Heart, Take My Lips, Take My Soul." That's Just Like Her. She Kept The Good Parts For Herself.