Let Me See If I Can Put

I Went To An All-girls Catholic School. And All The Nuns Just Breathed Down Our Necks "abstinence." And That's Not The Right Thing To Do. It Does Not Work. Kids Will Not Listen To That. They're Going To Experiment No Matter What, So You Have To Be Honest. You Have To Say, "you Know What, If You're Gonna Do It, At Least Think About The Consequences And Get Protection.

Because They've Either Conveniently Forgotten With Time Or They're Trying To Be Supportive, Most Mothers Won't Tell You How Hard Pregnancy (and Then Childbirth) Can Be. Let Me Tell You, It Is. It's Brutal Sometimes! But, If I Did It, Anyone Can Do It. I Mean, I Always Knew I Was Meant To Do Something Really Big In Life, And Now I Know That This Was It. Screw Winning An Academy Award Someday ... I Gave Birth

So Basically, I Don't Know What I'm Talking About. But Maybe I Do.

I Have My Once-a-month Nachos, But It's Soy Cheese And Turkey Chili On It, So It's Somewhat Safe. But It's Still A Big Vice For Me, Because I Have A Big Bowl Of It.

No I Don't Have A Sex Tape And I'm Kind Of Upset That I Don't. You Know Why? 'cause I'm Really Good.