Let Me Tell You About My Family.

God And The Universe Said To Me One Day, "you're Only Going To Get What's Good For You." That's Kind Of How I Try To Look At Things. Isn't That True, When You Look Back At Things? "ooh, I'm Glad I Didn't Get That!" You Get More Philosophical When You Get Older, With The More Life Experiences You Have. But I Don't Have Any Bad Feelings Towards Anybody That Was Ever Involved In Any Of That Stuff, Because I Don't Think That People Usually Set Out To Hurt You. I Think That Hurt Is All Manufactured By Yourself And Your Expectations.

I'm Still Working! I Think Of All The Other Comics That Didn't Get The Light Shined On Them, Just Because It's Just How Fame Works, And It's Unfortunate. But There Are So Many Great Comics Out There Who Are Still Working, And I Still See Them.

I'm Washing Lettuce. Soon, I'll Be On Fries. In A Few Years, I'll Make Assistant Manager, And That's When The Big Bucks Start Rolling In.

Minnesotans Really Think They Run The Whole World, I Love That.

I Live In California, The Worst Place In The World For Fat People. There Are Three Of Us. They Have Us On Eight-hour Shifts, So It Works Out.