Life Is A Four-letter Word.

The Only Truly Anonymous Donor Is The Guy Who Knocks Up Your Daughter.

You Put A Guy On A Desert Island, He'll Do It To Mud, A Chicken, A Barrel, Anything, A Knothole.

If Jesus Had Been Killed Twenty Years Ago, Catholic School Children Would Be Wearing Little Electric Chairs Around Their Necks Instead Of Crosses.

Tv Is Just Advertising For Your Live Gig, So I'm Playing Whichever Show Is Gonna Get Me The Biggest Crowd.

Marijuana Will Be Legal Some Day, Because The Many Law Students Who Now Smoke Pot Will Someday Become Congressmen And Legalize It In Order To Protect Themselves.