Life's But A Day At Most.

Joy Is Obtaining A Big, Loving, Caring Shut-knit Household In Yet Another Town.

People Ask Me What I'd Most Appreciate Getting For My Eighty-seventh Birthday. I Tell Them, A Paternity Suit.

People Are Always Asking Me When I'm Going To Retire. Why Should I? I've Got It Two Ways - I'm Still Making Movies, And I'm A Senior Citizen, So I Can See Myself At Half Price.

I Get Up Every Morning And Read The Obituary Column. If My Name's Not There, I Eat Breakfast.

First You Forget Names, Then You Forget Faces. Next You Forget To Pull Your Zipper Up And Finally, You Forget To Pull It Down.