Martha Stewart Is Now Under House Arrest.

The United States Military Is Now Using The Music Of Metallica And Other Heavy Metal Bands To Break The Will Of Saddam Hussein Supporters To Get Them To Talk. Theyre Blaring Heavy Metal Music At Them. That Should Make The Artist Feel Pretty Good, Huh? Put Your Heart And Soul Into Your Last Cd And The Army Is Using It To Torture People.

The Economy Is So Bad That Bedbugs Are Now Infesting Sleeping Bags And Tents, Because They Can't Afford To Stay In Hotels Anymore.

65% Of People Say That Cheating On Your Income Tax Is Worse Than Cheating On Your Spouse. The Other 35% Were Women.

The University Of Nebraska Says That Elderly People That Drink Beer Or Wine At Least Four Times A Week Have The Highest Bone Density. They Need It - They're The Ones Falling Down The Most.

President Obama Announced This Week That He Is Going To Start Sending Out His Own Messages Personally On Twitter. And Today Anthony Weiner Said, “it’s A Trap, Don’t Do It!” But President Obama’s Tweets Are A Little Different Than Anthony Weiner’s. When Obama Sends Out Pictures Of Something Obscene, It’s The Unemployment Numbers.