Men Don't Mature. Marry A Younger One.

Men Have Better Self-images Than Women. You Know What I've Never Seen In A Men's Magazine? A Makeover.

I'm Not Sure If My Husband Is Going To Be There When I Actually Have The Baby. He Said The Only Way He's Going To Be In The Room When There's A Delivery Is If There's A Pizza Involved.

My Mother Is Such A Lousy Cook That Thanksgiving At Her House Is A Time Of Sorrow.

Her Idea Of A Romantic Setting Is One That Has A Diamond In It. If You Feel The Need To Marry A Doctor, I Suggest A Dermatologist. Good Hours, Free Retin-a.

I Don't Want To Push The Envelope. Let The Envelope Stay In The Middle Of The Table. I'll Just Make You Laugh.