Men Hate To Lose. I Once Beat

... Life Is Broken Down Into These Stages: You're Born And You Don't Know How Anything Works; Gradually You Find Out How Everything Works; Technology Evolves And Slowly There Are A Few Things You Can't Work; At The End, You Don't Know How Anything Works.

When I Want To End A Relationship I Just Say, 'you Know, I Love You. I Want To Marry You. I Want To Have Your Children.' Sometimes They Leave Skid Marks.

When A Woman Tries On Clothing From Her Closet That Feels Tight, She Will Assume She Has Gained Weight. When A Man Tries Something From His Closet That Feels Tight, He Will Assume The Clothing Has Shrunk.

Marriages Don't Last. When I Meet A Guy, The First Question I Ask Myself Is: Is This The Man I Want My Children To Spend Their Weekends With?

I Don't Plan To Grow Old Gracefully. I Plan To Have Face-lifts Until My Ears Meet.