Most Men Are Secretly Still Mad At

If You're Dating A Man Who You Think Might Be "mr. Right," If He A) Got Older, B) Got A New Job, Or C) Visited A Psychiatrist, You Are In For A Nasty Surprise. The Cocoon-to-butterfly Theory Only Works On Cocoons And Butterflies.

Most Turkeys Taste Better The Day After; My Mother's Tasted Better The Day Before.

When I Was A Kid, I Had Two Friends, And They Were Imaginary And They Would Only Play With Each Other.

Men Have Better Self-images Than Women. You Know What I've Never Seen In A Men's Magazine? A Makeover.

Most Men Are Secretly Still Mad At Their Mothers For Throwing Away Their Comic Books. They Would Be Valuable Now.