My Career Has Been My Craziest Adventure.

My Wife Gets So Jealous. She Came Home From Work And Was Mad At Me Because There Was A Pretty Girl On The Bus She Thought I Would Have Liked.

If My Father Had Hugged Me Even Once, I'd Be An Accountant Right Now.

When You Go To Standup, There Seems To Be A Common Denominator Of Some Form Of Need Or Want For Validation From The Audience That Maybe You Were Lacking As A Kid.

Mike Royce And I Have Always Had Success Writing What We Know. What We Know Now Is That We're Middle-aged, Neurotic And Fat.

I Don't Think Men Talk As Much As Women, But When We Have Something On Our Minds We'll Get It Out.