My Favorite Health Club Is The International

When It Comes To Idiots, America's Got More Than Its Fair Share. If Idiots Were Energy, It Would Be A Source That Would Never Run Out.

My Father Painted, Well Into His 80s, What He Called Hard Edge Abstractions. It's Really Cool.

I'm Always Amazed When I Hear People Saying, "that George Bush, He's A Great Leader". And I Wonder, Where Can One Find A Drug That Would Make One So Delusional?

I Don't Care Who Wins Because I Go To Sporting Events To Scream. It's The One Place On The Planet You Can Shout Anything You Want. You Can Bellow At Will, And Nobody Will Bother You. I Yell Things Like, 'my Life Sucks! Dan Quayle Is A Schmuck! If I Don't Have Sex Soon, I'm Going To Explode!' Parents Turn To Their Kids As I Leave The Stadium And Go, 'hey, There Goes A Great Fan.

Stupidity Really Gets Me Going, When It's Just Plain Stupid, Obvious Stupidity. And I Think That's The Reason My Act Has Become More Political. I've Become Somewhat More Of A Political Comic Because The Level Of Stupidity I've Watched Is Staggering.