My Friend Says Touche Way Too Much.

Statistics Indicate That The Average American Is A Guy Named Brian Who Lives In Ohio.

Let No Man's Deathbed Be A Futon.

How To Be A Bouncer: Be An Asshole; Stand Near A Door.

The Chances Of Someone Who Looks Like Jesus Having Pot Raises Steadily, To A Point. If The Guy Is On A Cross You May Have The Wrong Guy.

I Need To Develop Some Patience - Immediately.