Let No Man's Deathbed Be A Futon.

If Someone Throws A Pie At Your Face, Just Open Your Mouth Really Wide And Say, 'thanks For Feeding Me, A**hole.'

I Don't Want To Be My Own Boss. I Want To Be My Own Colleague.

The Easiest Time To Add Insult To Injury Is When You're Signing Somebody's Cast.

Knights Would Have Probably Liked Refrigerator Magnets.

The Problem With Most People, Is That They Are Most People.