My God, Look At The Words People

I Walk Into The Clubhouse Today And It's Like Walking Into The Mayo Clinic. We Have Four Doctors, Three Therapists And Five Trainers. Back When I Broke In, We Had One Trainer Who Carried A Bottle Of Rubbing Alcohol, And By The 7th Inning He'd Already Drunk It.

The Worst Team In Baseball's History Won Only 55 Games. The Best Team Ever Won 110 Out Of 160, So You're Virtually Guaranteed To Win 1/3 Of The Time And Lose 1/3 Of The Time. The Difference Is The 1/3 In The Middle. You Don't Know What Bucket The Game You're Playing Falls Into, So If You're Smart, You'll Fight Like Everything For All Of Them.

Say 'dodgers' And People Know You're Talking About Baseball. Say 'braves' And They Ask, 'what Reservation?' Say 'reds' And They Think Of Communism. Say 'padres' And They Look Around For A Priest.

I Love Doubleheaders. That Way I Get To Keep My Uniform On Longer.

If He Raced His Pregnant Wife He'd Finish Third.