My Heart Is A Bargain Today. Will

I've Never Hit A Woman In My Life. Not Even My Own Mother.

I Cook With Wine, Sometimes I Even Add It To The Food.

I've Been Barbecued, Stewed, Screwed, Tattooed, And Fried By People Claiming To Be My Friends. The Human Race Has Gone Backward, Not Forward, Since The Days We Were Apes Swinging Through The Trees.

I Ad Lib Most Of My Dialogue. If I Did Remember My Lines, It Would Be Too Bad For Me.

If A Thing Is Worth Having, It's Worth Cheating For.