My Idea Of Exercise Is A Good

Actually, I Comb My Hair Quite Often. Of Course, I Use An Electric Toothbrush.

My Photographs Don't Do Me Justice - They Just Look Like Me.

Isn't My Fur Stole Pitiful? How Unsuccessful Can A Girl Look? People Think I'm Wearing Anchovies. The Worst Of It Is, I Trapped These Under My Own Sink.

My House Used To Be Haunted, But The Ghosts Haven't Been Back Since The Night I Tried On All My Wigs.

I Was So Wrinkled I Could Screw My Hats On.