My Iq Is Somewhere Between Spiro Agnew's

Every Time Someone Says, 'you Know, We Really Ought To Get Together,' If I Were Really Honest, I Would Ask 'why?'

I Have Yet To See One Of Those Comedy Central Shows With Multiple Standup Comics That Doesn't Include Someone The Size Of The Hindenburg.

I Had To Fight The Intellectual Label When I Started In Television, Because, First Of All, It's Not Going To Help You Commercially, And Also, It Wasn't Particularly True Of Me. I Mean, If Anybody Thought I Was An Intellectual, They Probably Had Never Really Seen One.

There Is Something About A Luger That Separates It From All Other Handguns, And Luger Devotees And Luger Society Members Speak Of It In Romantic Terms That Must Sound Plain Nuts To Those Who Consider Themselves Level-headed.

Meryl Streep Belongs On Anybody's List Of Greats.