My Mom Gave Me One Of Those

I Find You Can Often Find Humor Just By Turning Something Upside-down. Like A... Small Child.

People Always Ask Me, 'where Were You When Kennedy Was Shot?' Well, I Don't Have An Alibi.

They Call Me Good Time Emo. Because I Love A Good Time! And My Name Is Emo.

But I Like To Swim. At High School, I Tried Out For The Swim Team. I Shaved Off All My Body Hair, And That Extra Burst Of Speed From All The Bullies Shouting Kill The Fairy.

A Friend Of Mine Gave Me A Philip Glass Record. I Listened To It For Five Hours Before I Realized It Had A Scratch On It.