My Mom Took Me To A Dog

My Old Man Never Liked Me. He Gave Me My Allowance In Traveler's Checks.

I Remember I Was So Depressed I Was Going To Jump Out A Window On The Tenth Floor; They Sent A Priest Up To Talk To Me And He Said, ' On Your Mark...'

At Christmas Time We Couldn't Afford Tinsel, So We'd Wait Till Grandpa Sneezed.

I Saved A Girl From Being Attacked Last Night. I Controlled Myself.

Comedy Is A Camouflage For Depression.