My Stepfather Stepped In Where No Man

Before Kady Was Born, I Didn't Think Having A Kid Would Be Such A Big Deal. My Attitude Was Simple: Babies Are Nice, Play With Them, Put Them In The Closet Until The Next Time.

Why Go To A Church To Worship God? A Church Is Man Made. God Never Said, "and Let There Be Aluminum Siding." Climbing A Tree To Talk To God Sounds Like A Better Idea Since Only God Can Make A Tree. And If That Tree's On A Golf Course, All The Better.

If You Want To Condemn Yourself For The Mistakes You've Made, Let's Be Fair, That Means You've Got To Congratulate Yourself For All The Good Things You've Done. It's Okay To Say, "god, I Wish I'd Done This; Yeah, But I Did Do That." Then It Kind Of Balances Out.

Boys Can Be Disgusting. You Can't Leave Us Alone For Any Length Of Time Because We Will Burn Something, Blow Something Up Or Paint Something. We're Just Obnoxious.

Men Aren't Men Until They Can Get To Sears By Themselves.