My Stockbroker Asked Me Something Important Today:

Women Get A Little More Excited About New Year's Eve Than Men Do. It's Like An Excuse: You Drink Too Much, You Make A Lot Of Promises You're Not Going To Keep; The Next Morning As Soon As You Wake Up You Start Breaking Them. For Men, We Just Call That A Date.

In A Landmark Decision, The Supreme Court Ruled President Obama's Healthcare Mandate Is Constitutional. This Is A Major Victory For President Obama, Who Spent Three Years Promoting It, And A Major Setback For Mitt Romney, Who Spent Three Years Creating It.

I Think High Self-esteem Is Overrated. A Little Low Self-esteem Is Actually Quite Good. Maybe You're Not The Best, So You Should Work A Little Harder.

Gray Davis Got Some Good News This Week: The Clintons Are Out Here In California Campaigning For Him. Actually, Hillary Is Campaigning For Davis, Bill Is Out Here For Larry Flynt.

Colin Farrel Was Recently Asked About Prostitutes And He Said, It's Like Ordering A Pizza. Really? What Restaurant Is He Going To? All I Ever Get Is A Pizza... I Guess In Some Ways It Is - When It's Delivered, It's Never Quite As Hot As You Hoped It Would Be.