My View Of Life Is, 'if You're

If I Get Married Again, I Want A Guy There With A Drum To Do Rimshots During The Vows.

I Started Saying Things In Church That Didn't Meet With A Lot Of Approval - Like 'jesus Isn't Coming Back.' They Started Throwing Bibles.

The Russians Haven't Been To The Moon. You Know Why? Because They're Space Pussies... You Really Want To Impress Us? Bring Us Back Our Flag!

You Don't Know What A Rough Crowd Is. If All I Have To Do Is Go Make People Laugh, That's Nothing. Let Me Tell You What A Tough Crowd Is. A Tough Crowd Is Going To A Morning Service And You Got Six People There And You Gotta Pay Your House Payment. That's A Tough Crowd.

I Called A Detox Center - Just To See How Much It Would Cost: $13,000 For Three Weeks! My Friends, If You Can Come Up With Thirteen Grand, You Don't Have A Problem Yet.