My Wife Has Teeth Like The Stars...

I Told My Doctor I Wonna Stop Aging, He Gave Me A Gun!

My Problem Is That I Appeal To Everyone That Can Do Me Absolutely No Good.

I Told My Psychiatrist That Everyone Hates Me. He Said I Was Being Ridiculous - Everyone Hasn't Met Me Yet.

My Wife Had Her Drivers’ Test The Other Day. She Got 8 Out Of 10. The Other 2 Guys Jumped Clear.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. The Time I Was Kidnapped, And The Kidnappers Sent My Parents A Note They Said, "we Want Five Thousand Dollars Or You'll See Your Kid Again."