My Wife Has Teeth Like The Stars...

I Recently Had Double-bypass Surgery. As They Wheel You In, The Doctor Always Gives You A Last Look. You Know That Look. That Look Of Confidence To Make You Feel Good. I Always Say To Every Doctor, If I Don't Make It, I'll Never Know It.

My Cousins Gay, He Went To London Only To Find Out That Big Ben Was A Clock.

My Wife Was Afraid Of The Dark. Then She Saw Me Naked, And Now She's Afraid Of The Light.

Hey, Did Somebody Step On A Duck?

A Girl Phoned Me The Other Day And Said... 'come On Over, There's Nobody Home.' I Went Over. Nobody Was Home.