My Wife Is A Real Puritan. She

One Teacher Recently Retired With A Half-million Dollars After 30 Years Of Working Hard, Caring, Dedicating Herself And Totally Immensing Herself In The Problems Of The Students. That Gave Her $50. The Rest Of The Money Came From The Death Of A Rich Uncle.

My Son Really Has The Spirit Of Valentine's Day. When He Was In College, He Used To Send His Mother A Heart-shaped Box Of Laundry.

Money Can't Buy You Happiness. It Just Helps You Look For It In More Places.

I Don't Worry Too Much About Sex Education In The Schools. If The Kids Learn It Like They Do Everything Else, They Won't Know How.

They've Got Plastic Christmas Trees Now. They're Hard To Tell From The Real Aluminum Ones.