My Wife's Gotten Really Lazy, Or As

Deep Frying A Twinkie Makes It Healthy, Right?

It's So Obvious The Weather Channel Is Pro Hurricane. Fair And Balanced My Ass.

That's Why When I Send A Postcard I Quiz People. "hey, Did You Get That Postcard?" "yeah, Yeah Yeah." "well What'd I Say?" "uh, You Were Havin-" "i Was In Jail"

As I Go On In Standup, I Keep Being Described As Cleaner And Cleaner As I Do Each Hour, They're Like, 'it's Unbelievable How Clean,' 'he's The Cleanest Person In The World.' And Then I'll Do Shows And People Will Be Like, 'you're Supposed To Be So Clean, But You're Talking About Cancer.'

I Never Went To Church When I Was In College, Either.