My Wife Says Obe Stands For Old

Don't Send Me Flowers When I'm Dead. If You Like Me, Send Them While I'm Alive.

We Used To Go To The Pictures Every Saturday Night But We Had To Leave A Little Bit Early And Get Home And Watch Match Of The Day - And My Wife Still Complains She Missed The Last Five Minutes Of Every Film We Saw.

Acne Is A Bigger Problem Than Injuries.

If God Had Wanted Us To Play Football In The Sky, He'd Have Put Grass Up There.

Who The Hell Wants Fourteen Pairs Of Shoes When They Go On Holiday? I Haven't Had Fourteen Pairs In My Life.