Never Ask Your Wife If She Still

When The Public Starts Classifying You As Thoughtful, Someone Given To Serious Issues, You Find Yourself Declassified As A Humorist.

If You're Happy In What You're Doing, You'll Like Yourself, You'll Have Inner Peace.

An Oxymoron? What's That? A Moron Who Studies At Oxford?

I Feel The One Sensible Thing You Can Do Is Try To Live In A Way That Pleases You. If You Don't Hurt Anybody Else, What You Do Is Your Own Business.

If It Weren't For Philo T. Farnsworth, Inventor Of Television, We'd Still Be Eating Frozen Radio Dinners.