Never Be Afraid To Laugh At Yourself,

I've Decided The Secret Of Parenting Is Benevolent Neglect.i Put My Family Last. Because If You Don't, If You Put Them First, They Never Thank You. You'll Never Get A Word Of Thanks From Them.

I Know Body Hair Bothers Some Women, But A Lot Of Men Like A Fluffy Partner.

My Parents Were Very Pleased That I Was In The Army. The Fact That I Hated It Somehow Pleased Them Even More.

If You Have To Explain Satire To Someone, You Might As Well Give Up.

I Think A Lot Of People Think That We [comedians] Are Nerveless People In The Theatre, That We Don't Feel That Kind Of Terror Which Traditionally Anyone Who Has To Do Any Public Speaking Feels. It's Worse For Actors, Because Our Livelihood Depends On It.