Never Give A Sucker An Even Break.

Beer: Helping Ugly People Have Sex Since 3000 B. C.

Don't Worry About Your Heart, It Will Last You As Long As You Live.

If At First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try Again. Then Quit. There's No Point In Being A Damn Fool About It.

I Think Of The Church Often. Not Because Religion Was Closing In On Me, But Because For A Long Time My Ass Was Sore From That Hard, Unupholstered Pew.

I Drink Therefore I Am.