No One Wants To Get Their Ass

I Always Take A Relationship To The Next Level. If That Works Out, I Take It To The Next Level After That, Until I Finally Reach That Level When It Becomes Absolutely Necessary For Me To Leave.

There's Not Too Many People That Don't Think I'm Crazy, For Walking Away From So Much Money. I'm At A Restaurant With My Wife, It's A Nice Restaurant, We're Eating Dinner. I Look Across The Room, I Say, 'you See This Guy Over Here, Across The Room? He Has $100 Million.' And We're Eating The Same Entree. So, Ok, Fine, I Don't Have $50 Million Or Whatever It Was, But Say I Have $10 Million In The Bank. The Difference In Lifestyle Is Miniscule.

My Generation Is Under-entertained.

If I Can Make A Teacher's Salary Doing Comedy, I Think That's Better Than Being A Teacher.

I'm Dave Chappelle And I'm A Chronic Masturbator.