Omaha Is A Little Like Newark, Without

My Earliest Childhood Memory Was Watching My Parents Loosen The Wheels On My Stroller.

To The Pessimist The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Is Another Train.

I Hate Mcdonald's. I Don't Want To Order My Dinner By Yelling Into A Clown's Mouth. If I Want My Face In A Clown's Mouth, I'll Tongue Kiss Glenn Beck.

Life Is So Tough. I Don't Know How Old You Are, But I've Seen So Much In A Wink. One Phone Call And Your Life Is Changed Forever. We All Know That. You Better Laugh At Everything.

Al Roker Said I Am 80 Years 'young'; It's Like Saying Al Roker Is 320 Pounds 'thin'.