People Come Up To Me In Bars

You Have To Understand, I Can't Do Any Jokes About Ross Perot, Because The Last Thing I Need Right Now Is Another Credit Check.

I Think I'd Make A Pretty Good President, And They Have A Great Pension Plan.

They Said I Ignored The Drug Problem. Well, I Gave Speeches On Drugs, I Wrote Books On Drugs. I Did Darn Near Everything On Drugs!

Every Child Has A Right To Go To High School And End Up With A Third Grade Education.

Why Should Old People Get [social Security]? They Just Sit Around All Day Doing Nothing.