Philosophically, I Don't Like Doing Commercials.

San Franciscans Have A Bond Of Self-satisfaction Bordering On Smugness.

The Precise Location Of Heaven On Earth Has Never Been Established But It May Very Well Be Right Here

You Cover Q-tips With Sandpaper And Ram Them Up Your Nostrils As Far As They Will Go. Then You Sniff Talcum Powder While Shredding Hundred Dollar Bills.

A Good Column Is One That Sells Paper. It Doesn't Matter How Beautifully It Is Written And How Much You Admire The Author... If It Doesn't Sell Any Papers, It's Not A Good Column. It's A Terrible Yardstick To Use, But In The Newspaper Business, That's The Whole Thing.

The Trouble With Born-again Christians Is That They Are An Even Bigger Pain The Second Time Around.