Reason Is Always Weak Where Prejudice Is

I Don't Care For Sex. I Find It An Embarrassing, Dull Exercise. I Prefer Sports, Where You Can Win.

Whenever I Do Theaters, I Don't Like 'em. I Don't Think They're Right For Stand-up.

It Is Easier To Hate Those We Love, Than Love Those Whom We Have Hated.

I Tried To Make The Punchline As Close To The Setup As I Could. And I Thought That Was The Perfect Thing. If I Could Make The Setup And The Punchline Identical To Each Other, I Would Create A Different Kind Of Joke.

Your Worst And Most Dangerous Enemy Is The Person That Injures You Under The Pretensions Of Friendship.