Riding A Ducati Is Like Having Sex

Astronomers Have Discovered A Planet That Is Twice The Size Of Earth And Made Of Diamonds. President Obama Says The Planet May Be Inhabited By Aliens Not Paying Their Fair Share.

The Nation's Largest Savings And Loan, Washington Mutual, Has Become The Biggest Bank Failure In History. See, The Problem With The Savings And Loans? Not Enough Savings, Too Many Stupid Loans, Okay In Fact, They Changed Their Name From Wamu To 'screw You.'

A Man In Florida Has Been Arrested For Wearing A President Obama Mask While Robbing A Mcdonald's. To Show You How Good This Guy's Disguise Was, Instead Of A Holdup Note He Was Reading From A Teleprompter.

In His Speech President Bush Said We Need To Rebuild Iraq, Provide The People With Jobs, And Give Them Hope. If It Works There Maybe We'll Try It In New Orleans.

When A Candidate Walks Away From A Reality Show, That's When You Know They're Serious About Being President Of The United States.