Self-preservation Is The First Law Of Nature.

The Three Most Important Things A Man Has Are, Briefly, His Private Parts, His Money, And His Religious Opinions.

The Great Pleasure Of A Dog Is That You May Make A Fool Of Yourself With Him And Not Only Will He Not Scold You, But He Will Make A Fool Of Himself Too.

A Sense Of Humor Keen Enough To Show A Man His Own Absurdities Will Keep Him From The Commission Of All Sins, Or Nearly All, Save Those Worth Committing.

Morality Is The Custom Of One's Country And The Current Feeling Of One's Peers.

Is Life Worth Living? This Is A Question For An Embryo Not For A Man.