Sex Is The Quickest Way To Ruin

Last Night, I Went To A Birthday Party, And This Girl Brought A Cake And A Cheesecake. And The Other Girls That Lived In The Apartment, I Swear To God, All Night Long: 'you're Taking That Cake With You When You Go. That Cake's Not Staying In This House.' Like It's This Evil, Hope Diamond, Nuclear, Horrifying Cursed Thing.

I Think People Are Very Cynical With Actors Trying To Tell Them What To Believe In, Or Lobbying For Any Kind Of Changing Of Government Policy. Even I Get Cynical About It. Like, Why Is Sharon Stone Telling Me This? And There's Just Something Annoying About Having Charlie Sheen Tell Me, "it's Your Responsibility To Vote," In An Admonishing Way On Mtv.

I Don't Even Know Why Somebody's Twittering As Me. I Don't Understand It, And I Wish That It Would Stop. But There's Nothing That Can Be Done. It's So Terrible.

Protesting The Color Of A Man's Skin Is Not A Worthy Protest.

I Was Thrilled To Work Opposite Carl Reiner And Robert De Niro. Mr. Reiner Was Very Chatty And Delightful, But I Learned That If You Want Robert De Niro To Like You, Don't Speak At All, And He'll Be Friendly To You.