She Was So Fat That Her Belly

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. I Played Hide-and-seek. They Wouldn't Even Look For Me.

I Said To A Girl I'd Been Seeing, Come Home With Me, Honey, And I'll Show You Where It's At. She Said, You'd Better, Because The Last Time I Could'nt Find It.

My Wife Met Me At The Door The Other Night In A Sexy Negligee. Unfortunately, She Was Just Coming Home.

I Shouldn't Tell Jokes About My Wife. She's Attached To A Machine That Keeps Her Alive... The Refrigerator.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly That She Was Known As A Two-bagger. That's When You Put A Bag Over Your Head In Case The Bag Over Her Head Breaks.