Sixty Years Ago This Week Hitler Invaded

Al Gore Has Found A New Job. He Is Going To Teach Journalism At Columbia University, Which Is Ironic Isn't It? The Guy Who Did All The Coke Winds Up Going To The White House, The Guy Who Didn't Do Coke Goes To Columbia.

Some Sad News, President Bush's Lapdog Passed Away. Gee, I Didn't Even Know Tony Blair Was Sick?

Scientists Say They Have Developed A Car That Can Run On Water. The Only Catch Is, The Water Has To Come From The Gulf Of Mexico.

The Ceo Of Enron, Jeffrey Skilling, Married One Of The Enron Secretaries This Week. It's Amazing How Romantic These Enron Guys Can Be When They Realize That Wives Can't Be Forced To Testify Against Their Husbands. Skilling Said Today She Was The Best Secretary Enron Had Ever Had. She Could Shred 950 Words A Minute. ... I Guess They Are On Their Honeymoon Right Now. That's Going Pretty Well. Hey, He's Used To Screwing Enron Employees.

The White House Is Now Urging Americans Not To 'read Too Much' Into Last Week's Jobs Report. In Fact, They Said It Would Be Best If You Didn't Read It At All.