Soap, Like People, Shouldn't Smell Like Anything.

There's Nothing People Like Better Than Being Asked An Easy Question. For Some Reason, We're Flattered When A Stranger Asks Us Where Maple Street Is In Our Hometown And We Can Tell Him.

For Every Stunning, Smart, Well-coiffed Hot Woman Of 40 +, There Is A Balding, Paunchy Relic In Yellow Pants Making A Fool Of Himself With Some 22-year-old Waitress.

It's Best To Give Advice In Only Two Circumstances; When It's Requested, And When It's A Life Threatening Situation.

The Super Bowl Isn't For Kids, I Had A Great Time Though And It Was Worth Every Nickel Of It Because By Doing This Lame Piece About The Game I Can Put It On My Expense Account.

Dogs Are Nicer Than People.