Soft Rock Music Isn’t Rock, And It

When You're Born You Get A Ticket To The Freak Show. When You're Born In America, You Get A Front Row Seat.

The More Complicated The Order, The Bigger The Asshole. If You Walk Into A Starbucks And Order A 'decaf Grandee, Half Soy, Half Lowfat, Iced Vanilla, Double-shot, Gingerbread Cappuccino, Extra Dry, Light Ice, With One Sweet-n'-low And One Nutrasweet,' Ooooh, You're A Huge Asshole.

Let A Smile Be Your Umbrella, And You'll End Up With A Face Full Of Rain.

When I Ask How Old Your Toddler Is, I Don't Need To Hear '27 Months.' 'he's Two' Will Do Just Fine. He's Not A Cheese. And I Didn't Really Care In The First Place.

If You Have A Legal Problem, Guess How You Determine Whether Or Not You Need A Lawyer. You See A Lawyer. Isn't That Weird?