Someone Threw A Petrol Bomb At Alex

My Uncle Jimmy Took Liver Salts Twice A Day For 40 Years. He Died On Sunday, Was Buried Wednesday And The Following Friday They Had To Go To The Cemetery To Beat His Liver To Death With A Stick.

I'm Staying In A Lovely Hotel, Dressing Robe Behind The Door, Lovely Fluffy Sheets - Took Me A Half An Hour Getting My Suitcase Closed.

An Englishman, An Irishman And A Scotsman Walk Into A Bar. The Barman Looks At Them And Says: "is This Some Kind Of A Joke?"

This Is Frank Carson, News At Ten, Sober.

The Council In Blackpool Have Given The Homeless Bus Passes, But How Would They Know Where To Get Off?