Sometimes I Wonder Does God Just Not

Behind Me, I Heard A Young Woman Of 25 Say, "if It Weren’t For My Horse, I Wouldn’t Have Spent That Year In College." Now, I'm Gonna Repeat That, Because It Bears Repeating. "if It Weren't For My Horse..." As In, Giddyup, Giddyup, Let's Go — "i Wouldn't Have Spent That Year In College," Which Is A Degree-granting Institution. Don't Think About That Too Long, Or Blood Will Shoot Out Your Nose!

I Watch Some Cnn And A Lot Of Fox, Because It Helps Me Get Irritated.

Usually I'm Too Tired To Apologize.

The Worst Thing About Halloween Is, Of Course, Candy Corn. It's Unbelievable To Me. Candy Corn Is The Only Candy In The History Of America That's Never Been Advertised. And There's A Reason. All Of The Candy Corn That Was Ever Made Was Made In 1911. And So, Since Nobody Eats That Stuff, Every Year There's A Ton Of It Left Over.

What I Find Most Disturbing About Valentine's Day Is, Look, I Get That You Have To Have A Holiday Of Love, But In The Height Of Flu Season, It Makes No Sense.