Sometimes Its Nice When People You Love

On My Last-place Finish In The 50-yard Dash During Little League Tryouts “it Kinda Looked Like You Were Being Attacked By A Bunch Of Bees Or Something. Then When I Saw The Fat Kid With The Watch Who Was Timing You Start Laughing…. Well, I’ll Just Say It’s Never A Good Sign When A Fat Kid Laughs At You.

On My First Driving Lesson “first Things First: A Car Has Five Gears. What Is That Smell?…okay, First Thing Before That First Thing: Farting In A Car That’s Not Moving Makes You An Asshole.

When It's Asshole-tightening Time, That's When You See What People Are Made Of. Or At Least What Their Asshole Is Made Of.

The Baby Will Talk When He Talks, Relax. It Ain't Like He Knows The Cure For Cancer And Just Ain't Spitting It Out.

You're Like A Tornado Of Bullshit Right Now. We'll Talk Again When Your Bullshit Dies Out Over Someone Else's House.