Soup Is Just A Way Of Screwing

Well, It Looks Like We've Moved A Step Closer To War. Not With Iraq. With France And Germany. How Did We Screw That One Up?

Nineteen Percent Of Doctors Say That They'd Be Able To Give Their Patients A Lethal Injection. But They Also Went On To Say That The Patient Would Have To Be Really, Really Behind On Payments.

Actually, You Know Who Gave The Shortest Inauguration Speech In History? George Washington. It Was Only Like Three Minutes Long. Well, Sure. George Washington Couldn't Tell A Lie.

The Economy Is So Bad That Bedbugs Are Now Infesting Sleeping Bags And Tents, Because They Can't Afford To Stay In Hotels Anymore.

The Iraqis Sat Down For Talks On How To Put Together A Post-war Government. They Would Have Sat Down Yesterday, But Somebody Stole All Their Couches.