I Recently Attended A Pro-drug Rally... In

I've Gotten "condescending" A Million Times, And That's Not Good.

I Like Pot, I Enjoy Pot, I Like To Smoke It. But, The One Thing I Don't Like About Pot Is The Subculture It's Spawned. I Think It's Embarrassing And Really Juvenile And Uncreative

In New York, You Are Constantly Faced With This Very Urgent Decision That You Have To Make, About Every Twenty Minutes...you Have To Decide, Immediately, You Have To Go "ohmigod. Do I Look At The Most Beautiful Woman In The World Or The Craziest Guy In The World?"

What Happened To Our Friendship? I Really Think It's Our Obligation As Friends To Be Brutally Honest And Be Frank With Them And Say, 'look, I'm Sorry, But Your Baby Is Fking Boring.'

I've Never Written Jokes. I Mean, I'll Write Things On A Piece Of Paper And Riff On Them Onstage.